Lost

It’s spring cleaning in Blogland.

I’m streamlining, filing away the comments, trying to get organized, hoping to find what I’ve been missing.  What’s lost.  Trying to dig myself out of this black hole.  It’s hard to dig your way out of the darkness when you don’t know which way is up.  There are friends in the dark with you, whispering in your ear that you are not alone, that these things happen for a reason, that it wasn’t meant to be, that they’ll pray for you.   You listen politely, and are grateful not to be alone in your deep, black hole, but wish only to be numb, to not feel this, to return to your naive bliss and to hear the new heartbeat you’ve been waiting for, instead of being haunted by a strange black hole on an ultrasound monitor where your Ruby or Jack should have been.   Ruby Annabelle.  Jack Parker.   You were meant to be, whoever you were.