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This is where I disappear

Turn into a ghost

Slowly erase my digital footprint

Melt into hot pavement

Under the summer sun

Lose myself in backyard excavations

Slicing through weeds

Moving dead branches

Hauling out the debris of the long-dead

The rusted mattress springs

The abandoned pots and broken china

The brown glass bottles and dried up paint cans.

In time I will clean out my cluttered mind

Find a place to file all of you away safely

Make space for what is needed

For light and confidence

For getting back to myself and my babies.

I’d like to say all of you were special,

And some truly were,


Like the tree frog

I sought you out for warmth

Until the sun warmed my shoulders again.

Like the snake

I’d like to shed this dead skin now

Emerge anew

Love myself a little

Seek out someone who wants more

If we can make it work

This time around.

I’m following my stupid heart again

And it has no patience.

My brain moves slower

(and forward focused)

Like the turtle crossing the road last night;

My car missed it

But instead of stopping to move it

I kept driving

Thinking I’d save it later

If it was still there on my walk.


I found it

Entrails stretched out over the road

Shell broken in two

Egg smashed over asphalt.


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