Fight

Dear Cesar,

Try to remember:

He’s not you.

I’m not her.

We are weathered

Rain-beaten

But still standing;

Holding each other up.

Forgive me if

Sometimes I shift in the wind

It’s true I’m not good at voicing these thoughts

Face to face.

I get tongue tied

My heart tries to escape through my throat

And,

As instincts go,

My flight

Seems stronger

Than my fight.

Try to remember:

You are a new sort of animal

To me

In your truth

Your devotion

In the way you look past it all

And want to keep me safe

By your side

Even when you’re scratched

By my scabs.

You doubt yourself

And your worth

And question my happiness,

And cloud the sky with doubt.

It soaks us both

To the skin

For different reasons.

Still,

Your fight

Is so much stronger

Than your flight,

That I’m still

By your side

Questioning

If anyone before you

Ever really loved me

At all.