Release

Once I had dinner at an Olive Garden

With my then boyfriend

We met his sister and her boyfriend there

She started the conversation by noting that

She didn’t know he was bringing me

And she couldn’t pay for two people

And the rest of the dinner

Was just as (more?) awkward.

Attempts at conversation

Met with dead ends.

Jokes went unreceived.

Sentiments misunderstood.

At some point I gave up

All attempts.

Dinner was not over soon enough

And when it was

I burst through the doors

And into the cool night air

And I screamed.

Because I finally could.

My then boyfriend was impressed.

That was three years ago.

Sitting out on the porch tonight

Smoking too fast

I noted that two of the street lights

Across the street

Where there are no houses

Are out

Creating a void

A black hole

And I so much wanted to

Scream into it.

Just to make a sound.