Character Defects

Meditation fails
When you can’t switch off your thoughts
When last night’s conversation
On repeat
I try to focus on outside sounds
The loud talk of construction workers arriving
I close my eyes
And pretend the wind in the leaves
Is waves on a beach
That I am somewhere
Far from here
In this house that these days I wish
Never existed
At all

Do I think about how you feel?
Only always.